I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
