Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We're too hungover to prance.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
