We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
