May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize