Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize