Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
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