Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
