Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
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Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
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I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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