The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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