im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
