Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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