Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I will be naked everywhere
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
