If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
