Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
