would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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