rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
