I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
