i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
