I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
