Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Who died my cat blue again?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
