Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize