Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
