everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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