Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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