Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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