By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
