New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
