Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
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so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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