I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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