Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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