He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
