and next time when you feel me up, do it right
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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