okay pat passed out under dana's car
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
