she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
