I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
