Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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