strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
