She is in my trunk
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
