I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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