i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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