I seem to have left my pride at pride
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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