honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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