i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just cut my nipple shaving
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize