About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize