If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i used baking grease as lip gloss
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
If I had your ass I would rule the world
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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