go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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