I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize