Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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