I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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