Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
