Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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