He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
