i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
