Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
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Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
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Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
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