I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
