either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
