whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
