Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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