I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
