I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
